During the day, you have a lot of triggers that push you to smoke. And these triggers are responsible for most of your really strong urges to smoke. Ask yourself: “What’s the cigarette that is toughest for me to go without?” Chances are, your answer will be something like:
• The cigarette with the first cup of coffee in the morning.
• The cigarette right after a long movie.
• The relaxing cigarette after dinner.
• The cigarette at morning break, after not having one since you came to work.
• The cigarette with a drink you need to unwind when you get home in the evening.
Each of these descriptions centers on a trigger – the first cup of coffee, getting out of the movie, relaxing after dinner, morning break, and a drink in the evening. These triggers that you and your brain have come to associate with smoking – when they happen, you have to smoke. As a matter of fact, this association is so strong that you actually crave a cigarette as these triggers come up.
But there is a way to eliminate these tough “trigger” situations. If you can get rid of the cues for smoking before you quit, situations in which you’ve “just got to have a cigarette” will lose some of their power. And you can do it before you quit.
So let’s start destroying these triggers. The first step is to identify your strongest triggers, the situations in which you always smoke. For example:
• Do you always smoke after dinner? With your morning coffee?
• Do you always light a cigarette when the phone rings? When your children go off to school or get back home?
• Do you always smoke while driving in rush-hour traffic? While driving from errand to errand?
These “always” situations are your strongest external triggers for smoking. First you’ll have to eliminate these. Once you feel you feel less need to smoke at the very times you thought you could “never get through without a cigarette,” then you’ll feel less need in other, less strongly cued situations. Start eliminating these “always” triggers a week or two before your Quit Day.
The Key To Destroy Triggers
To destroy a trigger, you have to make the decision: “I will never smoke” when that trigger kicks in. For example, if you always smoke when you drink coffee, you must change your pattern so you never ever smoke while drinking coffee. This will definitely be hard at first, but it will keep to the “I will never” rule – and soon coffee will no longer be a cigarette trigger for you. This is how you can do it:
1) You will notice that you smoke during certain times and during certain situations. Make a list of when you light up and during which situation. (For example, after dinner). Smoking at these times has been so automatic for you that you don’t even notice it.
2) Choose two or three times during which you smoke from your list. Be specific: “In the morning” is too broad. But “sitting in the car while driving to work,” or “during afternoon break at work” are good.
3) Next make the commitment: I will never smoke when these specific triggers kick in. You will still drive to work, but think about doing something else while you drive. If you always listen to the radio as you drive and smoke. Do not turn on the radio. That too is part of your trigger to smoke. And if you don’t listen to the radio as you drive and smoke, then you should listen to the radio in order to break out of the mold in which you always smoke.
4) Once you choose triggers to destroy – DO NOT EVER SMOKE in these specific situations.
If this seems really hard, try to replace “won’t” with “can’t.” For example, if your doctor told you that milk is life-threatening for you, you would probably find lots of ways to make sure you avoid milk. Think and act in the same way with cigarette. FIND WAYS TO AVOID THEM.
The way the powerful triggers have become so strongly linked to smoking is because they occur over and over when you smoke. If you’ve smoked a pack a day for 20 odd years, and drunk coffee with thousands of these cigarettes, that’s a lot of time for the association to be firmly embedded in your mind. Your body and your mind have learned that when coffee arrives, a cigarette isn’t far. So when you drink coffee and there’s no nicotine, you feel a huge urge to light up.
You can eliminate these triggers by starting not to smoke when you drink coffee. Just as you learned that coffee and cigarettes go hand-in-hand, you can also learn that they don’t.
By using the “I will never” rule, you can get yourself used to coffee without cigarettes. And what’s really fortunate is that you can do this in just the week or so before your Quit Day. Then, when you quit, the urges will be less strong.
For this destruction of triggers to work, you must totally separate the trigger from the cigarette. If coffee is a trigger, it won’t work to drink a cup of coffee, and then have a cigarette, and then drink a second cup. You must wait about 10-15 minutes after finishing your coffee before you light cigarette. And then, don’t follow up with another cup of coffee.
If talking on the telephone is your trigger – you must never light up while talking on the phone. If you’re already smoking when the phone rings, you must either put out the cigarette – or just not answer the phone. Remember, the goal is to keep the trigger totally separate from smoking. Here are some quick tips to help you along:
1) Be consistent. It’s better to choose two or three important triggers that you will never smoke with, instead of trying not to smoke with many different cues.
2) Don’t try to quit smoking or even cut down yet. Gradually cutting down leads to stronger urges than quitting cold turkey. So keep smoking for now, but just decide NEVER to smoke in connection with the triggers you have chosen. You can still smoke at other times.
Some triggers for smoking are external (a cup of coffee, a ringing telephone, a waiting room). But some triggers are internal – the thoughts and feelings inside you that trigger your smoking. For example, you may reach for a cigarette when you feel angry, when you’re feeling unsure of yourself.
Sometimes external triggers for smoking are a lot easier to recognize than internal triggers. As you stop smoking in response to external triggers, you’ll probably become more aware of your internal triggers – the feelings and frustrations linked to your smoking. For example, if you stop smoking during a business lunch where you usually would smoke, you’ll probably notice feelings such as frustration or boredom that previously had been counteracted by your cigarette smoking. This can help you understand why you always smoked during business lunches.
Keep track of the feelings and frustrations that are triggers for your smoking habit. Knowing which feelings really hit your cigarette button will help you spot the ones to work on.
For example, if sadness is a big trigger for you, make a point of saying, “I will never smoke when I am feeling sad.” Then, by the time you get to your Quit Date, feeling sad will not be such a strong cue for smoking. You may still feel sad, but at least it will no longer be a trigger to smoke.
Eliminating your strong triggers before you quit will mean fewer strong urges to smoke when your Quit Day comes around. This is the real plus of destroying triggers. Also, it boosts your confidence. Seeing that you can control your strongest triggers will help you get the confidence you need to actually quit smoking.
Gaining Self-Control
Even though you eliminate your strong triggers for smoking, you are still going to have temptations to slip up and smoke. As we all know, temptations are hard to resist. It is relatively easy not to smoke cigarettes that you haven’t bought. But, it’s hard not to smoke the cigarette your friend offers you at coffee break, after a hectic morning. You may forget your goal to have a long life when you’re in a situation that tempts you to smoke. Often you just can’t resist the short-term pleasure, the desire to just have one.
It’s not as hopeless as it sounds. The important things to self-control are:
1) To anticipate temptations.
2) To use creative problem solving to keep the temptation from getting too close and to keep yourself from being able to yield to its temporary allure.
3) To do things – follow through with the strategies you created. Use them.
Remember, creativity ahead of time can be your weapon against temptation. And any strategy that blocks momentary temptations, or that keeps you from giving in to the temporary urge will increase your self-confidence and help you get to the long-term goal of enjoying life without cigarettes.
Anticipating Temptations
Think about the situations you are likely to be tempted in. There are a number of ways to approach them. Look at the moods you indicated: anxiety, sadness, or happiness. Times when you are especially anxious or feeling blue are likely to be especially tempting.
There may also be situations which don’t occur too often, but when they do, it’s hard to fight. Make a list of possible temptations that you are prone to.
After specifying your temptations, you need to think of specific things you will do to keep each from getting to you. Here are some questions to ask to help you come up with good strategies:
• How can I avoid the temptation altogether?
• If I can’t avoid it, how can I weaken the temptation when I feel tempted?
• What can I do ahead of time to reduce my urge when tempted?
• When tempted, how can I limit my ability to give in to the temptation?
Be creative, and get really specific in answering these questions. Now is not the time to be vague. Specific answers will be your best defense against temptation.
Here are some ideas that will help you get creative:
1) Change your environment. Get rid of all cigarettes, ashtrays, lighters, and matches.
2) Prepare yourself. Have creative alternatives available, such as sugar-free gum, low-calorie snacks, etc. Plan an enjoyable activity and start it before the temptation occurs (for example, take a walk after dinner).
3) Make use of your social world. Tell a lot of people that you’ve quit smoking. Make clear to your smoking friends that you don’t want them to give you a cigarette (most relapse cigarettes come from friends). Tell a friend about an upcoming temptation and ask them to give you some encouragement in the situation (perhaps before a tense meeting).
4) Keep your goal in mind. Rehearse your reasons for quitting. Promise yourself something you enjoy (movie, dinner) for getting through the first week. Get involved in activities that don’t go with smoking (exercise, meditation). Imagine yourself as you’d like to feel, enjoying favorite activities without smoking.
5) Reduce the appeal of temptations. Think about the harmful things cigarettes do to you. Think about the diseases you’re concerned about if you go back to smoking.
As you can see from these examples, your will-power does not depend on some inner strength – but it rests on how well you anticipate temptations and how creatively you act to change them.
Avoiding temptations is certainly a lot of work, and it requires effort in advance. But keep in mind the fact that quitting smoking is the most important, and one of the hardest things you’ll d all year. Give it the attention that it (and you) deserve.
Cooperation and Encouragement
You’re the one who puts a cigarette in your mouth and smokes it, but others can still play an important role in your smoking habit – and in your efforts to quit. Quitting goes a lot more smoothly and is more successful if you have cooperation and encouragement from your family and friends. Can you think of three people you can use for your quit team? Try to choose:
• One person from your immediate family.
• One person from work.
• One person from your circle of friends.
A spouse or family member can be a help when you quit. They will care a lot whether you quit and be willing to cooperate in ways that can really help.
Some people may hesitate to help you simply because they’re not sure what they can do. It’s up to you to tell them. If you want them to call you, tell them. If you don’t want calls, let them know that too. Here are some other ways that people can help you:
• Hear you out when you’re tempted to smoke.
• Suggest methods for getting past the urge.
• Stop by to see you (or call you) on days you know will be hard for you.
• Help explain your needs to your spouse.
• Be available just to listen to you complain about how awful it is (or brag about how well you’re doing).
Another way to let people know how you would like their encouragement or cooperation is to talk with them about it. Ask them to spend a few minutes with you on this. Here are some pointers to help you along:
For You the Quitter:
1. What does it mean to you for someone to be there?
2. When will you need people to put up with you – when you’re crabby or cranky the first few days after you stop smoking? Or in the weeks following, when it is no longer a novelty.
3. How would you like others to cooperate with your efforts? Are there specific times you’ll need them to give you some help?
4. Do you want to be asked how things are going, or how you’re doing? About how often or when?
5. Are there some prizes or rewards that you would like when you’re been successful? Are there some that would be fun for both you and your family member or friend?
For the Friend or Family Member:
1. Be positive. Tell them how glad you are they’ve stopped smoking.
2. Reward and praise them. Rewards don’t have to cost much, just use your imagination.
3. Don’t nag. Focus on how hard they are trying and how much you recognize that.
4. Understand that they may want to talk about wanting a cigarette or having a relapse. This does not mean that they don’t really want to quit.
5. Don’t tell them how to feel. Accept and try to understand how they are feeling.
6. Don’t tell them what to do. Ask them what they are thinking of doing and try to get them to think about the pros and cons.
7. If they slip up, encourage them not to give up.
In fact, it’s a good idea to discuss these issues with other people too – your spouse, friends, and coworkers. Explain to them that you’d like them to be willing to listen when you ask for their time. If you’d rather that they let you bring the subject first, tell them.
Working Together
If you’re quitting with a friend or just lining up some encouragement for your own efforts, be sure to have phone numbers handy. A telephone call can give you or your friend just the needed boost to help lift your mood and keep you from smoking. You and your friend may want to call each other, or get together, at a certain time each day. Remember, quitting smoking is important, so think about scheduling specific times to meet or talk on the phone, just as you would a business appointment.
When people quit smoking they sometimes feel low, sorry for themselves, lonely, and deprived. That’s when the encouragement of family or friends can be especially helpful. If you think you are going to be feeling sorry for yourself for a few days, tell others ahead of time and discuss what you can plan to combat it.
Often people will feel they don’t know what to say. Some well-intentioned things people say may be misinterpreted as “nagging” or “bossy.” So tell your friends anything you think is important to know about you and what kind of “helpful suggestions” you can deal with.
Planning Alternatives to Smoking
The key to quitting is to plan ahead. So far, you’ve made plans for dealing with temptations and you’ve planned to recruit support people. Now you’ve got to plan specific activities that can take the place of smoking.
You’ll definitely need things to do with your hands and mouth. Some people suck on stirring sticks, or fiddle with paper clips. Others go for a brisk walk. Many people find that a few deep breaths work best. Calling up one of your support people can also help. Or sit down and write a letter, or read a book.
Chewing gum can help. If you’re using nicotine gum, be sure to have several pieces with you at all times.
These activities may not discourage urges but at least they’ll give you something to do instead of just sitting there, craving that cigarette.
Here’s something to do before you stop smoking. Pack a survival kit of things you can use to keep your hands and mouth busy whenever you’re tempted to smoke. Keep your survival kit with you at all times. You can put the following items in your survival kit:
• Stirring sticks
• Sugarless gum
• Sugarless candy
• A ball to squeeze
• Cinnamon sticks
• Rubber bands
• Paper clips
• A pencil to hold
Keeping busy is also important to keep your mind off smoking. Plan ahead to get together often with friends, schedule outdoor activities, and stock up on magazines and videos. If you don’t have a hobby, this is good time to start one. You may also need to spend more time with people who don’t smoke. So try going places where smoking is not allowed.
Diet and Exercise
You can, of course, eat and drink as an alternate to smoking. Food and drink can indeed be a convenient and tempting substitute. Also, you may find yourself hungry more often after you give up smoking. Quitting also can cause metabolic changes that lead to an initial weight gain.
So be prepared. Here are some hints to help you:
• Keep a supply of healthy snacks like fruits or veggie sticks on hand.
• Drink a large glass of water or a low-calorie beverage whenever you feel the urge to smoke.
• Instead of eating and drinking, try exercising (even just for a walk around the block) to keep your mind off smoking.
And remember, just because you’re depriving yourself from cigarettes, it doesn’t mean that you have to deprive yourself from your favorite food. You are likely concerned about weight gain, but you don’t have to eliminate foods that you enjoy. Eat a good, balanced diet. The best foods to include are:
• Fruits
• Vegetables
• Beans
• Whole grain bread
• Rice
• Pastas
If you fill up on these foods, you’re less likely to be tempted by calories and pastries.
Exercise helps too. If you haven’t exercised very much before, talk to your doctor about a sensible exercise program. There’s no need to become a prime athlete overnight, but there are many good reasons to start a regular regimen of brisk walking, bicycle riding, swimming, or any other physical activity you enjoy.
Exercise will increase your metabolic rate and help your body burn extra calories. Exercise also helps reduce tension and stress, which will make you feel more relaxed and alert. Also these benefits can be a big help to you in quitting smoking and minimizing weight gain.
Focusing on diet and exercise is a healthy part of your quitting plan. But don’t get so busy with these concerns that you lose sight of your real goal. Remember, your real goal is quitting smoking.
